Thanks for the much needed encouragement everyone!
I haven't posted in a while and I still feel like I'm right on the edge of going into another deep depression.
As much as I try to fight them, my fears keep coming up. I keep thinking about how far I fell when I left New York City and I went into a very deep depression. The depression lasted for several years and I gained over 100 pounds. I just checked out of life for 3-4 years.
That cannot happen to me again. I cannot let it. But I'm feeling the same way I felt then.
I am very cognizant that I am in danger. I just have to keep fighting.
As far as my health journey goes, I've been eating healthy about 1/2 the time and eating total crap the other 1/2. I've been going to the gym every day----mostly because of my son----but I'm going. I'm still doing yoga with Tracee. I've still been doing my Happy Face stickers on my calendar everyday. (I LOVE that system!!)
And thank God for Discovery (www.discovery-training.com). Last weekend was Discovery weekend and I got a MUCH needed boost.
As long as I continue to stay connected as much as possible, I'll come out of this just fine. Isolation is my biggest enemy right now.
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Jen, I've been wondering about how you're doing. It's great that you are aware of where you're at and know the dangers of falling into that pit. Just keep hanging on and fighting to stay out of it and let us give you medicine. I admire you so much and think you have way more strength and courage than you give yourself credit for. Hang in there girl! love you.
ReplyDeleteOk Jen, I can see we are going to have to go boot camp on you...there will be no falling back into a depression...why you ask...because that is not a option...your son needs you...and you are no good to anyone (or yourself) if you are in that state and have checked out of life!! I do think that is great that you are still going to the gym everyday...thats awesome!! And eating bad half of the time is much better than eating bad all of the time!! You need to try to think positive...I know its sooo easy to get into a rut ....and go into the "D" word...were not going to even say the word since its not a option anyway!! But you have to think positive...infact you dont have a choice!! Everything always works out in the end...as much as at the time you dont believe that...it always does!! And everything does happen for a reason!! So keep your head up girl and have some faith!! : ) (I will keep you in my prayers...and if you need someone to talk to...please feel free to call me anytime)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Jessica