Doing something different

I've decided to take more drastic measures in my health and fitness journey. Trying to take "small steps" and focus on overall health and going easy on myself is not working. I think I'm so strong. I think I can do everything by myself. The reality is, I'm not. I'm not strong when it comes to weight loss. I'm very, very weak.

I have a drastic amount of weight to lose. So I need to do something drastic to get it off.

I'm not at the surgery point yet---but the main reason I haven't seriously considered that is that I don't have health insurance that covers it or the money to have it done. But I do want to try every option before I work to make surgery doable.

So I'm researching ways to get this weight off using prepackaged meals and counseling/coaching, such as NutriSystem, Medifast, Jenny Craig or one of those kinds of programs.

I am realizing I can't do this alone. I'm so far gone, I need professional help to get out of it. I can't get control of this myself for whatever reason. So I need to figure out how to come up with the resources to get professional and medical help.

Trying not to let it get me down, but it's tough. I hate being this huge. It effects me every minute of every day. People judge me. I haven't had a date in years. I'm lonely. I can't even walk a block without being winded and needing to sit down.

It's just miserable. I have to take drastic measures to save my life. I have to take drastic measures to fully LIVE my life.