I reward myself with food. Not with good food----with bad food.So say, I'm proud of myself for a job well done. What do I think I deserve? Well, a hot fudge sundae full of fat and chemicals for my body, of course!!
That stuff is like POISON for me!! How can I consider that a REWARD?
But I do.
I'm becoming more and more aware of it. And it is just so ridiculous. I remember last year when I would weigh in at my Weight Watchers meetings. If I lost a few pounds----guess what I did? Yes, I rewarded myself with bad food. After all, I didn't have to weigh in for another week, right?
Crazy!!! I somehow HAVE to shift my thinking.
First of all, food should not be used as a reward. Secondly, I really wish I could see CRAP food just as that--CRAP food. I don't though. I look at something like a piece of chocolate cake as something glowing with a halo on top and angels singing all around it.
It's actually POISION for me. It's terrible for my body in so many ways. But it will just take time for me to reverse that thinking.
In the meantime, I have to find a new reward system. When I want to reach for food as a reward, I have to be able to do something HEALTHY that feels like a reward instead.
And, no, jogging doesn't feel like a reward.
So what can I use for a reward? What is something that is easily accessible to me and feels like a reward? It has to be something inexpensive or free. Something I really enjoy. And it has to be something that has immediate positive effects.
Hmmmm....nothing perfect is coming to mind. I'll just brainstorm here.
- Go to the movies (sans popcorn)
- Call a supportive friend who can pretend to lavish hefty praise on me :-)
- Go to the lake and read
- Go to the park and meditate (notice I didn't say walk)
- A bubble bath???? I haven't had one of those in years---just going by what I see in the movies. Looks like a reward for them!
- Paint--I don't always feel like doing this, though
- Listen to music
- Dance while listening to music! Maybe make a special CD of my favorite songs that I love to dance to and only use it when I want to reach for food! (Oh, that actually feels like a great one!!)
Everything else I can think of wouldn't have immediate gratification---it would take planning of some sort, like going out with friends or going to the theater. I need things I can do right away and get the positive feelings immediately---just like I get from food.
I'll keep thinking.
But I'm becoming more aware. And that is progress.
I think I need a reward for that...
A suggestion: Don't be so concerned about rewards till you have reached a goal. A good goal would be something to train for. Thank about running/walking a 5K within the year...or pick something similar. I am goal driven...so that is my reward....reaching the goal...running a certain time. I think if you train for a race, your hidden competitor will come out and that competitive spirit will surprise you. Everyone is a competitor. The results will happen if you "train" for an event...and training constitutes exercise and diet.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Dave, you should "train" for something. It totally changes your mindset. When I was training for my half-marathon in December I didn't want to put all that nasty stuff in my body because I had a goal...I've kinda fallen off the wagon since then...so maybe I need to find another one to train for :) And after awhile all that former "good stuff" doesn't taste as good anymore. Check out this website: http://www.runontexas.com/calendar/Calendar.htm, it has lots of local races...everything from 1 mile to marathons. Keep it up, Jen! You are doing fantastic. I know you will conquer this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelle and Dave!
ReplyDeleteI love the suggestion of choosing an event to "train" for. I am naturally a competitive person and I also KNOW there is an athlete inside all this fat begging to come back out again. The problem is----I've tried this before. I've picked the race, broadcast it to all my friends that I'm going to run it, "trained" for about two weeks, then I've dropped it and not followed thru with the race at all.
I need to find some way to help me STICK WITH IT. I know it's up to me, but I just have had trouble doing it alone.
Okay, so I checked out the website you suggested, Kelle, with all the planned running events in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. There are obviously PLENTY of 5K races to choose from.
ReplyDeleteThen from that site, I found the site for the Dallas Running Club. It says the club "welcomes all runners and walkers of all ages, shapes, sizes and skill levels."
Maybe this could give me the accountability and support I need to set an event target and actually follow through with it.
Wow. I never thought I'd consider joining a Runner's Club at my size!!! That is always something that I thought I'd do "after I lose weight", like so many other things.
I'm letting being fat stop me from doing fit and healthy things, which makes no sense at all. That just keeps me fat.
Awesome Jen! Do it! I'd love to sign up and train for a 5K or some race with you. Even if we can't train together, we can at least hold each other accountable to do the training and show up for the race :) What do you think?
ReplyDeleteJEN - KELLE...do it. Let me know if I can help in ANY way.....acountable...no excuses...the only easy day was yesterday.
ReplyDeletePick a 5K out and tell me which one. Kelle, if you have trained for a 1/2 marathon, there is a great trail race at Grapevine lake in November, either 15K, 30K or 50K, your choice.
Jen, Begin walking for 20 minutes this week... 4 days this week. Remember to hydrate....it is getting hot
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Dave and Kelle!!! If I know someone is actually paying attention to what I'm doing, it helps me stay accountable sooooo much. I feel like I *should* be able to do it all by myself, but it just hasn't worked out that way.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'll walk 20 minutes 4 days this week. That's a good start.
And Kelle I would LOVE for you to do the 5K with me! I've also tried that in the past---tried to get others to train with me, but they always back out, too, so that didn't help at all! But I know you'll really do it.
Wooo-hoooooo!!! I'm really excited!! :-)
I'll pick out a few race dates and see what is good for you, too, Kelle.
Thanks again sooooo much to both of you!!
You can do this! One tiny step at a time. only one. One isn't even hard. Anyone can do one. When you're done with that - another and then another.
ReplyDeleteEveryday in Every Way you're getting healthier and healthier. Better and better. thinner and thinner. . . .